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The Trap of Postponement

In our attempt to live up to everybody’s expectations, time disappears like sand through our fingers, and our true passion is nothing but a faint shadow in our dreams.

We all have very good reasons for postponing the expression of our creative gifts.
There is the floor that needs to be mopped, the phone calls that need to be returned. Then it’s time to make dinner before the kids are home from school, and then it’s all too late anyway.
Maybe we feel we have to get another degree or build a studio in the shed before we can make our art. Or we say, “I’m just going to stay in this job that I don’t really like for a few more years so I can have an economic foundation, and then I can relax and rest and my creativity can flow.”

All these reasons seem so valid. But as we are just finishing this, just doing that, the days and years are going by, and so are the opportunities for giving our unique gifts to the world.

For women especially it is all too easy to fall into the stereotype of being the caregiver and to build our lives around that identity. So suddenly we find ourselves surrounded by people who expect us to take care of everything, from driving the kids to basketball matches to doing the extra load of paperwork at work. In our attempt to live up to everybody’s expectations, time disappears like sand through our fingers, and our true passion is nothing but a faint shadow in our dreams.

I love to be at home. I love to create a beautiful space for my family and me. I love to light the fire and to read good books. I love to be with my stepchildren, just to hang out with them, talking to them and playing with them. I love to bake and to make them good food. I love doing these things, but I also know that if I only do those things I will become frustrated. I also know I have other gifts waiting to be given. I have gifts to give through my writing, through being with women, and through leading seminars. I long to have my life reflect my commitment to create a world where the feminine and the masculine are equally respected.

This commitment demands that I be awake in each moment, to ask myself if I am really honoring what I need to do, where the flow is going, or if I’m only following unconscious habits. Though in the moment it can feel easier to settle into the caretaker role, when I look deeper I know in my heart that this will never truly satisfy me unless I also find time to express my other creative gifts.
This doesn’t mean that all women should be happy to march out in the world and create art or lead organizations, to realize her business talents, or to write books. Perhaps your creative flow is in the home. But you will feel a real difference when your domestic activities are truly aligned with your creativity, instead of dictated by stale feelings of duty and unconscious gender roles.

To Your Passion,

Chameli