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Our Deepest Apologies To Man

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There is a wonderful new Page on FB called A Manifesto for Conscious Men. It was created by my husband Arjuna Ardagh and the wonderful Gay Hendricks, and it looks like a movement has begun! Please go to the Page and “like” and “share”, so we can spread this wonderful message.

To celebrate this initiative I am re-posting here  a manifesto that we wrote down last year, from women to men.

Stella Fairbairn  and I connected on Facebook and wrote this manifesto from the feminine. We welcome you all to add your piece to this manifesto so  it stays alive and true.

Women have been sacrificed throughout history, yet we women are today sacrificing the feminine on a large scale within. And then we are blaming the masculine. We want to offer our deepest apologies to man for all the hurt we have caused you.

We carry anger for past abuse, and unconsciously we are punishing the masculine even when you show up as love. We lead you on and reject you sexually. In our wounds we don’t see and honor you sexuality as sacred and beautiful. In this way we are feeding into the cycle of wounding between the genders.

We have denied our power, given it away, blamed you for taking it and we have forgotten to embrace our femininity. Through various conditioning of society and not following our hearts, wombs and intuition to flourish and blossom, through our forgetfulness and avoidance we have denied both men and women liberation.

In our bitterness and feminine starvation we empower ourselves by making you small and ridiculous. We speak of the masculine with contempt and disrespect and instead we took it upon ourselves to compete with men, when this was a futile competition to start with.

We want to loudly and clearly commit to supporting each others as sisters to break these destructive patterns so that we all, both men and women can re-member, re-integrate, re-marry, and re-unite with awakening love to create the balance and harmony on earth we all so deserve. Now is the time.”

In Honoring

Chameli & Stella

Find Stellas website here

Image by: Shiloh McCloud

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57 Comments

  1. Jivan says:

    Yes I sign this apology too…

    When we empower ourselves as the feminine we empower the masculine at the same time.

    We cannot belittle the masculine without belitteling the feminine in us first.

    For the sake of our earth and our children we have to be as generous, big, empowered, feminine, open giving and recieving – as we were meant to be – and truly are at the very core of our beings.

    We need to take back our responsability and give this power of love and light, to every woman and man we meet – every day – no matter what.

    I thank you both for taking action and writing this apology.
    Love and Light
    Jivan

  2. Mahana says:

    Our deepest apologies to Man-yes, i am breathing this in, it is my deepest soul’s longing-thank you Chameli and Stella, thank you!
    this is how transformation can happen and new doors can open for us lovers and Beloveds on this incredibly beautiful planet….
    i can feel it happening in my cells right now, just by reading this words of apology out loud to myself-they echo trough the corridors of time, vibrating love and understanding to the feminine heart…the collective feminine soul -seeing, feeling into all those places inside, which hold the pain and the anger, the resentments and the judgements of millenia, with eyes wide open, looking with courage and honesty, with compassion and love for all the mothers who passed on the beliefs to their daughters, the bitterness about their unlived dreams and potential, and letting go, letting go….embracing new possibilities to celebrate the beauty of feminine and masculine energies, together, supporting, awakening, dancing, bowing down to each other
    so be it
    blessings
    Mahana

  3. lisa swahn says:

    My belowed
    Thank you for open my heart
    when I close and think that I dont need you
    Thank you for being there
    with your love
    shining strong
    like the sun
    Keeping fokused
    when I sometimes get lost in emotions

    Thank you- men around me
    and the man inside me
    for being there
    so I can be in balance
    and seeds of LOVE can be spread and grow
    in the belly of Mother Earth
    with the energi from Father Sun

    All is one

    I give you my love and respect

  4. Elizabeth Walsh says:

    As much as I agree with the words that are written here, and concur with the sentiment and the “responsibility”, it feels like the feminine pattern to not be able to just receive the kind words and love from men. In this case, from Geoffrey West. He set out to give something huge and selfless and collective and I feel that he would be better honored by our just receiving it and taking it in. Thank you for allowing me to express this for the feminine as we move into a realm of allowing the masculine to give to us without the need for us to do anything but allow them to penetrate our soul with their love. Namaste.

  5. raffaella beltrami says:

    yes, we are one, one big heart, women and men taking responsability for themselves and in that allowing life to take form in its beauty, in its unversises, in its freedom, in its peace. Oh I love you, may we all meet there as often as possible.

  6. First, I enjoy your work very much. You are a remarkable woman and team.

    This, however, “We lead you on and reject you sexually.”

    I can not agree with. And, it is offensive for too many reasons.

    But, one, other than the PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY women are made to take
    in the courts,
    in the bedroom, if she changes her mind,
    walking down the street in short skirt,
    talking to a man in a bar,
    being out alone after eleven,
    for taking a shortcut,
    for what happens next, between, not one, but two.

    A question.

    if a woman is expressing the beauty of her own sexuality,
    Must she?
    Does she?
    OWE a man the act of intercourse, or satisfaction in some manner?
    Or, of seeing and mirroring his sexuality?

    Because, after all…

    So weary.
    So male identified we women are now.
    So scared we are now.
    Of our mothers.
    Of men.
    Of the authoritarian jackboot.
    We return to the 1900′s without the cloak of,
    some kind, at least,
    safety of societal morality.
    But, WOMEN. We are still here.

    Even Kali can not shake the boat. Yet.

  7. Wendy says:

    Well, I guess I will have to be honest here; I do agree that there should be a balance of the sexes but it does seem in that my dealings with many men they are always competing and trying to “one-up” the woman. I am not speaking of most men, but well, a good majority I suppose.

    (I am glad that I married someone who is not like that, or at least puts up with my strong nature as not many men will do that.)

    Sorry if this sounds negative, I am just being honest.

  8. arjunaardagh says:

    well, as a random man I feel very touched and heard in this apology. You have pinpointed exactly the things that we men feel hurt by sometimes. This was very healing to read… it felt as if my own wife was talking to me!!!

  9. Thank you, I’m so sorry, I LOVE you!

  10. men i´m sorry to reject you and blame you that you are bad/ wrong and i am good/right.

    maen i´m sorry that i withdraw me out of your love and i´m so sorry that i give you not the love hat you have earn. because i can´t feel the love inside me.

    men i´m so sorry that i have not speak with you because i have adjudge you.

    men i´m so sorry that i give you no chanche to reach me. and give you the gifts that i have inside me.

    men i´m so sorry that i blame you that you have caused my pain.

    men i bow to you.

  11. awakeningwomen says:

    wow, there is so many amazing voices here, and I am honored that this can be a free space where we all can express.

    I want to clarify that the sentence with “leading on sexually” is not meant to be a comment or of women’s right to say no, always.
    It is rather an expression of how we often times don’t recognize the intrinsic innocence in our sexuality, both in men and women, and that is used in power games instead . Both by men and women

  12. What a step in the celebration of healing and uniting the energies of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine! I (personally) honour and receive with profound love and gratitude what has been shared from the Divine Feminine! I’m know that there will be many men who will also receive this with the same energies in which this message has been written and shared!

    If there be someone who feels called, and is connected to conference and media circles, maybe a conference during the summer MAY just be the message that can ring out words of healing from the Divine Masculine to women, and from the Divine Feminine to men. Together, may we stand united in heart and spirit to send a message to the leaders of the world that Earth and many of her people are lifting their hearts and souls into the vibration of love..or at the very least are wanting to move further in this path!

    May we all find a way to keep what we have started here alive, and moving through the circles of Spirit and love in the world! The greater the empowerment, and the more this energy is shared, the greater the impact we can have in assisting others to awaken, and the greater the impact we can have in helping Mother Earth to raise her vibration even more gloriously towards the 5th dimension!

    I offer my love and gratitude to all, and send energies of continued health, love, peace and abundance on ALL levels within the LIFE-path of each and every one of you!

    In honour to you all,
    Namaste!

  13. For me, the bigger ripple here is how the masculine meets the feminine and vice-versa WITHIN each one of us. The time for such a sacred union could be now for each individual to embrace the internal marriage and bring us all out of these endless stories of separation and division, war instead of peace. For when we claim these “apologies” by gazing into our own eyes in the mirror, a true forgiveness happens; then and only then can we open to receiving and giving from a healed heart and soul. Together with such an intent we have the power to reflect back to the world wholeness, oneness, trust, acceptance, harmony, peace and most of all, unconditional love.

  14. Dear Elizabeth,
    I understand the ‘truth’ that flows from your feelings about letting what I have shared simply flow to the Divine Feminine. Indeed it is in sharing unconditionally, without expectation of a reply or acknowledgement is a step towards remaining ‘detached’ from a desired or expected outcome that one honours oneself from a space of love.

    I gently add that in THIS case, I felt profound gratitude from receiving the energies of these words. As a man, I have struggled over the years, having been more or less single since being in a relationship that provided ‘strong opportunities for spiritual growth’, shall we say? ;-) I have since forgiven her, as I now understand how she has contributed to the role I am taking on at this time. I am still working on forgiving myself, as I have found it very difficult to enter into relationships since that time. This is by NO fault of any particular woman, although I did observe that I was repeating certain patterns relating to the particular ‘control drama’ or emotional addictions I was running. Many men are suffering an identity crisis at this time, and most of the ‘good guys’ do not really know HOW they fit into the lives of women anymore. The ‘bad’ guys don’t care, and they have no shame in using all their lines and charms on women. This is neither ‘good nor bad’, ‘right nor wrong’. It is just simply what IS, opportunities for humanity to further know itself as love, through all the experiences of what love is not. The State and the Church have corrupted the institution of marriage, and have interfered so intensely in our love relationships that people have not been able to REALLY fall in love for the RIGHT reasons. We have been kept in fear and separation from each other, and our current economic situation is not helping this. Indeed, it even furthers the wedge being driven between men and women in some cases. Women no longer NEED men to provide financially for them. They can, and are even quite willing to, live as singles without the energy of a man present. Emotionally, many women are turning to same sex relationships because men have not learned how to properly love a woman, and lift her to the highest expression of herself before receiving his gratification. We are our own victims of what we have created, and this was meant to happen at this time.

    I felt it healing to a degree, because I have chosen to blame myself over the years for not taking more risks to open up my heart more. I chose to fear getting hurt, and in learning so much with the friends and people whom have sought my counselling about relationships, I chose to learn as much as possible from them. I made excuses for not getting into relationships because I kept created experiences where the women were more materialistic and wanted guys who would buy everything for them. Due to a personal experience of helping a friend financially, I was on the brink of poverty for many years, and this became my ‘excuse’ for not falling in love. Those I tried to open my heart to, told me that they have come to value the friendship more, and do not want to risk losing the friendship.
    It has been, in my opinion, very challenging for me, and I think for many men at this time to know exactly what to give to a woman that will open her heart to taking a risk with a ‘nice guy’, as opposed to the ‘macho’ guy who knows how to give all the beautiful lines, and push all the right buttons to make a woman want to be with him, even IF she knows that she may be setting herself up for heartbreak.

    It is a mysterious, magical and wondrous journey we are ALL weaving at this time. I have been grateful to have been single, as it has given me the freedom to do much of what has contributed to what I am now doing. However, like all humans, one craves intimacy, even if it is not sex. Learning how to find this balance is a part of this new journey we are on, I think.

    This apology, for me personally, is received in allowing me to begin forgiving myself for for blame imposed on women, and blame imposed on myself, thinking that I am somehow not worthy because I may not have money, or that I am doing work that is not generating an income, or that I do not have a house or car, etc. Whatever it is…it is merely an acknowledgment.

    I offered my acknowledgment to the Divine Feminine without expectation of a response. Words have now been shared from the Divine Feminine to men, I believe with the same intention. I think for healing to move forward, people want…and dare I say, maybe even NEED at this time, to know that they have simply ‘been heard and felt’.

    I honour what you have shared, and I do understand it. In this case, for me personally, I received these words with love and profound gratitude. I thank you for sharing what you have written!
    Namaste, peace and love to you!
    Geoffrey

  15. Thank you for sharing with such openness and honesty Geoffrey. I can relate to your journey quite well and found in my own similar experiences that a shift in perspective had to happen within me; all that was about the other was really about me and that whatever experiences were being reflected back to me the opportunity was to clear up my own shame, blame, judgments, resistance, self betrayal and abandonment, and so on. Every relationship arising in in a myriad of forms throughout life and nature in each moment has been a gift to see myself more clearly and heal the imbalances and lack of internal harmony and union. How lovely to witness your honoring of the Divine Feminine within yourself!

  16. Lisa McGregor says:

    Awakeningwomen,

    Thank you for your clarification.

    I hear your sentiment. That individual men are suffering too. And, we can objectify them by handing over our power. By not owning our inner Goddess. And, that it hurts to be objectified.

  17. Elizabeth Walsh says:

    Dear Geoffrey,

    Thank you so much for your beautiful heartfelt words. I have taken in all of what you shared and feel blessed by your expression. I am a such an advocate of the healing between the masculine and feminine and it has been such a huge part of my life’s journey, as I imagine it has been for so many.

    Being raised by a single mother after the age of ten, all I heard growing up was, “you don’t need a man”, “don’t depend on a man” “go to school, be independent, take care of yourself”. You can imagine how that has gone … I’m single, educated, successful … and single! I have spent years opening my heart, letting go of the protection that had built up around my heart so that I wouldn’t get hurt; De-programming the belief structures put in place.

    I have deep love for men and I do my best to make sure all men that I come into contact with feel honored. In the same token, I have FINALLY learned to RECEIVE from a man, something I had never allowed in the past. So my initial “reaction” to the response, (as much as I loved the words and believe in the message), was this deep sense of not having received you and honored the gift you were giving. It was such a strong feeling, that I felt the need to express it.

    Sometimes, when someone says, “I love you” just taking it in is what feels appropriate, not always saying “I love you too” as an obligatory response, even if it is authentic and real. Thank you for sharing how much the response impacted you and hopefully many other men.

    I am also happy to share that I have created an altar devoted to the masculine. (some wonderful coaching from Arjuna last year) and I connect with my beloved in spirit via letters that I place on the altar. I trust that he can feel that, as I feel him and I hope that he knows I really do need him, and I am strong enough to say that now.

    What a wonderful place to express these deep feelings. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I cannot wait to read your book.

    May the masculine & feminine continue this beautiful dance.

    Love and Blessings,

    Elizabeth

  18. raffaella beltrami says:

    Yessss Lisa, this is very beautifully said, and this is what I related to in my comment (where Geoffrey apologises and I answered him) “By not owning our inner Goddess and that it hurts to be objectified” this is huge for us women it is much easier to blame. But THIS makes the difference of a powergame or LOVE expressing itself. My experience is that as soon I take responsability for my Goddes and my hurt without judging the objectifier, it doesn’t even hurt anymore. I can stay with my love and can leave him nothing wrong about objectifing, it is just not that what I am responding to. I can shine on. And the most beautiful thing is to recognize that also radiant princes (not only so-said machos) are able to objectify or want to possess this sexual energy in wanting in some way an answer from us. How beautiful if I can stay in my Goddess and I can mirror him, my/our power without having to do anything. And also without having him to mirror me that back in showing me, that he wants more or that he means me personally. This is huge. Nothing is lost, everything here, whether we live it or we don’t. If he wants to come closer beautiful, I am not dependent on that, he has free choice, no gender-games anymore. I love my sexual energy, I am the sorce, I love to share it, I love to hold it in my womb and I love to be touched deeply. So it is. No matter what men does on the outside. I have the choice and I have time to breathe so I can see the radiant prince clearly and maybe he disappears, I have no control about that. This is fine. That means I am holding my energy in my womb and I am true to myself walking and seeing the beauty outside, wherever it appears. I am not attaching to disappointment anymore, this is how I am honoring the divine feminine.
    I am honored to be part of this circle and I thank you men for being here, with your consciousness, with your love, in this women awakening circle, this is very precious to me. I hold you in my heart and of course….. thank you sisters and goddesses without you I would never had been able to experience and to express what I have just done. So many open ears, so many embraces and so many hearts I have received from you women. Now I know who I am. Thank you for ever.

  19. irelandretreats says:

    It is so healing and beautiful to read these words above. Some of them happy, grateful, joyful and some confused, misunderstood, angry and pained, but all in perfect balance and honesty. It is an honour to witness such sincerity and truth and even more of a privilege to hear the feminine respond and see how the masculine gently explains his place.

    All we need to do is “hear” each other more often and realise that all our choices are our own, taking full self responsibility for creating the balance within us, so that it can project into the world around us.

    With much love and gratitude,

    Stella.

  20. jasmine says:

    it is time to put the weapons down,there are no winners with the wounds of love…

    A honorable and authentic expression of true gratitude from ones heart to another….

    It is with the deepest of gratitude that I apologies for the pain i have caused you and for the pain i have felt as a result of unconscious wounds being repeated throughout a lineage of wounded divine woman….and sisters

    The time of awakening and becoming conscious and accountable is here,balancing the divine aspects of ourselves once again…

    each of us ,are vessels of the feminine and masculine and through the awakening ,healing and balance we restore the
    unity of both as one ,once again….

    through this process of awakening,we are clearing karmic patterns of ourselves and our ancestors …

    The wounded agape is now open and love shall reside here once again ,I shall honour the divine feminine and masculine aspects of myself and therefore in you…..

    there is no separation ,we will be united in divine play once again ,as we honour that part in us that is you and me as one…

    Thankyou for the growth,the expansion and the insight to experience love in all its facets in a most profound way,it is through our darkness that we proceed in light …

    And we would not be who we are now,everything has a purpose ,even diamonds are compounded in the process before the gem is valued …

    Beloved men,we awaken now empowered by our growth and humbled by our pain

    we release you from the bondage of our pain,no longer are we the victims ,we claim our divine aspect of the feminine once again..

    the goddess within has awoken and is honoured in this time …

    and the balance of the feminine and masculine union within ourselves, is an invitation for unity in consciousness once again …

    may we all come to experience a soulful love with ourselves and our beloved men once again….

    Thankyou ,

    The divine in me honors the divine in you

  21. It seems to me that almost all have been said already about this topic.
    I just want to say this:
    Before I can stand by You, I must stand by my Self. And Then I will stand by, in love, honoring both the male and the female.

    http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741

    Love,
    Mette

  22. james kelly says:

    Women,
    We ( the world) needs your tenderness, touch, embrace,
    warmth, compassion, unguardedness… otherwise I fear we shall all perish.. Be women, don’t try to be like men.
    Thanks to all for what I have read.. It is incredible.
    james

  23. My dearest Finnish friend Alessa had sent me this piece this morning. It felt familiar. And then, this arose:

    http://wonderwandeling.wordpress.com/2009/11/21/ocean/

    There is an ocean of love, compassion and joy
    deep down, in me
    when I digg and peel and digg and peel

    Beyond memories, thoughts, emotions, perceptions and associations
    Beyond attachment, beliefs and convictions
    Beyond everything I thought I knew

    There is an ocean of love, compassion and joy
    Receiving and dissolving
    Who I thought I was …

  24. awakeningwomen says:

    beautiful! thank you for sharing this

  25. Beloved reader,
    I have been wondering about where on the blog to place these words…
    and found that may be “our depest apologies to man” will be my choice…
    as these words by Kabir both tell about mans longing and
    the divinity of woman..
    .. .. and the longing for god..

    With love.
    Mette.

    I was invited
    to an important conference
    where many learned men from different countries
    were all going to address the topic:

    Where Is God?

    I was wearing my best clothes and had even fasted for a week,
    hoping to help sharpen mind. Just before I was to leave though,
    I felt powerfully drawn to a little shrine in my bedroom,
    and I went there and knelt to pray.

    I could not believe what then happened:
    Kali threw her arms around me and started tearing at my clothes,
    then she started to throwing delicious food into my mouth,
    purposely missing several times it seemed,
    thus soiling my pundit attire;

    and then she made me perform many times as if I were her
    husband; then she said, “Now Kabir, don’t be late for that big talk,
    and don’t change your clothes – I like that love-stained look;
    maybe it will become chic?”

    I arrived just as it was my turn to stand before this august crowd,
    and apologized for my appearance.

    “So Where Is God?” the head of the conference says to me.

    “Well, (well I stammered) if you really want to know the truth – if you hurry – you might catch Her legs still spread
    back at my
    pad.”

    - Kabir -

  26. diana says:

    Dear Sisters,
    traumatised and suppressed in my childhood also(!) by men I always punished men around me and those I thought I love. When therapists pointed always my victim role in this out a little voice inside of me said: but I am just not only victim NOW I am also hurting !! (in German “Täterintrojekt”). To be honnest wiht ones revenge patterns doesn`t mean NOT to take care of myself in contact with any men. thank you so much Chameli to bring transperency for this hidden (and blocked as a tabu) theme!

  27. Ann says:

    Yes! A beautiful way to begin to reclaim our power and to move forward with courage to become the women we were born to be.

  28. So beautiful and so true. Thank you for writing this apology…
    I agree from the bottom of my heart!

  29. Cassandra says:

    I think this is true for some of us, but there are still so many women in the world who are suffering at the hands of men, and the feminine on this planet is still, at least as it still manifests in female bodies, still subjugated to the masculine. The vast majority of human rights violations–from sex trafficking to “honor killings” to domestic violence and rape–are still perpetrated against women. While the apology above might be appropriate for many of us in first world nations, please let us not forget about the billions of women who are not so fortunate, and who, in my view, we must–men and women alike–continue to stand for.

    I am glad, though, to see in this apology a melting of the false battlelines between men and women, and a gesture for us to stand together as human beings in support of a world in which all our rights are granted, and respected, and defended.

  30. Ally says:

    Some parts of this sounded like total BS to me The notion that Masculine and Feminine are polarities is completely destructive to humankind – it sets up and supports a “them and us” mentality – Which is simply Not True. There is only ‘US’ and every single one of us is both masculine and feminine. I’m really not sure how re-inscribing flawed and dangerous myths about men and women is meant to help?
    Binary thinking is not working, it has not wroked in the past and it will continue to fail in the future. We need to get beyond this “either /or” mode of thinking!

  31. Janice Mark says:

    I’d like to add one more to “our deepest apologies to man” manifesto.

    We commit to remembering our pure magnificence and in embodying this original blessing, i offer it back to the world – to man as a gift to my divine complement, so man can truly know what the Divine Feminine is fully realized in this glory and woman can fully receive the manifestation of Divine Masculine fully grown into sacred union.

  32. Powerful and heartfelt. For myself and my brothers I can say this is deeply touching and appreciated.

  33. Kerry Gummow says:

    I am sorry for the pain within mankind and thankful for the generosity, partnership and relationship with man- so many wonderful, beautiful men, those I have held close have often tried so hard, had so much integritiy and fought through personal battles to try to make the planet better, to care and love so deeply. I thank you for that and for your shared wisdoms, technical savvy, ability to unscrew lids and reach that shelf for helping me see with a different perspective- I am sorry that sometimes I become complacent and take these skills for granted. For your wounds I grieve with you. I know you often feel you valiantly try to swim upstream and am sorry for the times you don’t feel supported or appreciated. lets all help each other out when we can, to be our objective mirror to each other. Lets help us to balance each other out, to celebrate our similarities and differences. lets help each other to live a life we enjoy and help connect us with what we know we love. Lets each try to help us together travel a gentler, more compassionate path with each other and our environment.

  34. kerry says:

    Men, I am sorry you have been victims in war, overt battles as pawns of government in your beautiful prime, covert battles in the home, underdisclosed victims of abuse as children. Societies have condoned and allowed these unfair acts and has allowed the mental scarring of these atrocities to scar our society. Of this I am sorry

  35. Sharon Bourke says:

    We are all one, of one source and of one energy. To hate, punish, fear another is to hate, punish and fear ourselves. In this time of new awareness let our sameness be our first realisation before we celebrate eachothers differences. Namaste:)

  36. As much I as really appreciate this apology…. as a woman, I feel it is premature. It is like apologising to your jailer because you yelled at him one day when he was treating you particularly badly.

    As a long time Feminist and Egalitarian, and someone who has consciously not done any of those things mentioned above…I feel sad that men have had to suffer those things, but I think that men need to first take responsibility for why women did those things in the first place.

    Women and men – all of us – have suffered under the Dominator/Patriarchal ideology. But obviously women have been disempowered , and continue to be so, more than men.

    Even though the spiritual part of me gets that this struggle is perfect and part of the whole design….and that at the deepest core of us there is no gender, there is just love – the social/cultural part of me yearns to hear more understanding and compassion and apology from larger numbers of men, BEFORE I feel moved to apologise for their suffering under this ideology

    And yet yes, I feel deep compassion for mens’ suffering under this ideology – for the pain that men feel from having to shut down their finer feelings – to feeling shame about their sexuality – from going to war in never-ending battles – to being objectified as a provider.

    However, the backlash from women as they have gained power, is a very natural part of the cycle. It would be expecting women to be superhuman to not think they may be just a little angry after millennia of torture and disempowerment.

    However, whilst we women stay angry and just want to hit back and retaliate and disempower men, we are still partaking in the same dominator way of being.. ie as soon as I have power, I will disempower you.

    My hope is that we can all begin to see that we have been swimming in this meme of Dominance, of ‘power over’. And that like a fish jumping out of water and seeing a whole new world out there, we can all begin to embrace a Partnership ideology, a New Egalitarianism, where what it means to be human is not so defined by male or female…. but by a much more fluid and expanded range of possibilities and freedoms.

  37. Emma17 says:

    Stella, these are wonderful words! I wonder if I can have your permission to translate this into Spanish and publish it in facebook, as well as the Manifesto for Conscious Men. In Latinamerica we have lots of machista women and need a deep healing on gender realtionships. Thanks

  38. Anonymous says:

    Hi, the article was written by Stella and Chameli, so yes please translate, just remember to link to our site for credit.
    Thank you!!

  39. Mamamichele says:

    GREAT!!! Wonderful beginning . . . forgiveness heals!

  40. Elainecaban says:

    Standing in Gratitude for all of you- women and men- who are contributing to the shift in Mass Consciousness that is recognizing the balance between the energies of the Feminine/Masculine Divine!! Thank You Beautiful Spirits!!!

  41. dharm says:

    If the Masculine and Feminine are not polarities, why is there a Masculine and a Feminine?

    And, as everything in this physical universe has a polarity, what is the polarity of the Masculine and the Feminine?

  42. MarceloQ says:

    too much ‘ism’ these days….

  43. Gender identity is NOT black and white. There are many different shades of gray on the spectrum. It’s offensive that you seem to think otherwise.

  44. Gilese says:

    That’s it? That’s women’s apology? “Men treat me badly, so I retaliate?”

    With all due respect, not buying the self justification. Good and evil are not based on masculine and feminine, either elevated or repressed. Let me add some blind spots.

    The highschool girl that six other girls deliberately mocked as different. Totally feminine bonding of similiarities and outcasting of differences; female bullying.

    The envy one feels at another women when she enters the room wearing better clothes or receiving more attention. There’s female competiveness.

    Using another’s virtue as a weapon; weaponizing children; alienating them.
    Smothering a child’s identity to make them into an impression of one’s own.

    Good old fashioned sleeping around; 20% of children are NOT the biological children of the father they think they are. The need to ‘diversify the portfolio’ causes this.

    Deliberately using man A to make man B jealous and manipulating one against the other.

    Staring at your spouse and always wishing there was a better choice available. True, women look to the moment, but that can be (1) being grateful for what they have right now, or (2) NEVER grateful of what they have right now. Whether 1 or 2 depends on the soul of the human being.

    My background? Me and my two sisters lived with our mother growing up. All three of us disowned her All three of us are close to our father.

  45. Gilese (again) says:

    PS: How about “WE TAKE FOR GRANTED THE GOOD THINGS YOU OFFER US, THE GOOD THINGS YOU DO FOR US.” Disrespect is the number one reason for men divorcing their spouse, after money.

    “Women have been sacrificed through history….”

    Let’s count the male vs. female industrial accidents.
    Let’s count who’s missing more fingers from those accidents.
    Let’s count the number of parties my mother attended vs. the number of overtime hours my father worked.

    Lastly, when a guy is genuinely stripped of his ‘negative’ masculinity, and ends up helpless in a wheel chair, let’s count the number of times he is summarily dropped by a woman. Can’t accuse him of masculinity when he is utterly unable to (1) abuse at all, or (2) provide at all.
    http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2007/08/21/arts/20070822_BERMAN_SLIDESHOW_6.html

    Afterall, Bobby needs his shoes. Perhaps they can switch, dad can vaccuum, and mom can stand on the back of a garbage truck lifting 80 pound maggot filled bags of other people’s trash in 80 degree heat, freezing temperatures (wear gloves, when the truck moves you get frost bite quickly) rain or shine. When he comes home after cleaning up the blood of his coworker, and asked what happened, his response is “a little messy today.” Is he insulted or “I appreciate how hard you work for us?”

    Are women grateful when a gift is given, or do they think it’s an entitlement?

    If I am insulted enough times when I try to add goodness, I’ll simply stop trying offer it.
    And a lot of guys have gotten to that point.

  46. stumblingmystic says:

    I actually strongly believe that the cosmological theory of gender found in premodern religions is very much obsolete in the light of both empirical research and also common sense.

    There could well be a cosmic polarity at the base of this manifestation, but to characterize one pole as masculine and the other pole as feminine seems to be nothing more than an anthropocentric projection. We are a dimorphically sexed species, so we project our experience of biological sex onto everything we see or experience. Of course, sexual reproduction is a relatively recent evolved phenomenon, with many, many species not being sexed at all and reproducing asexually. Add to this the fact that there are many species that are able to change sex, that intersexed people exist, that nonheterosexuality is found in many species including humanity, and the idea of some kind of cosmological gender starts to look increasingly shaky. If you believe in some sort of dualistic cosmological gender, you have to explain why gender does not manifest in everything in the universe.

    Finally, none of the spiritual traditions even agree on what “masculine” and “feminine” mean. Different religions define these terms very differently — the “Shakti” of Indian spirituality is nothing like the “Yin” of Taoism or the “Jamal” of Sufism.

    The less we think of ourselves as men or women, but rather simply as integral human beings seeking to realize their maximum potential, the better.

  47. stumblingmystic says:

    I just want to make it known that as a practitioner of the integral yoga of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, as a female-bodied person, as someone who is friends with many male sadhaks who are fine individuals and who would agree with my ideals regarding the transcendence of gender conditioning, I completely disagree with this manifesto. It is puerile, it is out of touch with social-historical realities, and it diminishes women [again] to gain some sort of male approval. It also, for some absurd reason, seems to be asking women to give up their hard-earned right to be agents, to have initiative, to have a sense of adventure and competition, to be heroic, and to hand over all these “masculine” abilities to men, since it’s apparently futile to try to develop as an integral human being as opposed to someone bound to biological, animal and patriarchal conditioning. What a shame that this is what the women’s movement — once a noble and heroic endeavour — has come to, and what an even greater shame that this is the kind of sentimentalist nonsense that passes for “spirituality” these days.

  48. socionerd says:

    well said

  49. The Crucifixion Machine says:

    Where is the apology for the lies involving domestic violence that have been perpetrated on us?

  50. Josh says:

    I like it. May the law of the binary continue to inspire you and others.

  51. Radiantheart says:

    I am a prophetic spiritual teacher and healer. Holy Spirit has shared much through me relative to healing the masculine and feminine. The masculine is divine Truth, the feminine divine Love. Truth ignites Love and Love heralds Truth. Truth is that I am the creator of my reality, and therefore you are me. Love arises from the free will choice to serve Truth, which is the will of the Creator, or SOURCE. Love heals. The feminine has been wounded by the wounded masculine, and continues to be so, in the collective, in relationships between men and women and in each individual. Surrendering to TRUTH is the healing, for both men AND women. Only I can honor my own Truth. If I compromise that by engaging with others who do not honor my Truth, then I can only look to myself for choosing to be in that situation. Stepping into honoring the feminine for me, as a woman, means that I stand FULLY in my Truth, WITHOUT COMPROMISE. As I do so, I ignite Love, and I am BEING LOVE. If I compromise my truth to the wounded masculine’s need to exploit and dominate, I am not living my Truth, and I will not be a healing presence. It is a hard line to walk, to tell the Truth and act on it, that I am the creator of my reality, and therefore, if I manifest those who abuse and use me, it is because I have objectified myself. It is another hard line to walk to admit that when I live my Truth, I may lose relationships with those who will not also surrender to Truth and end the wounded need to objectify others. However, surrender to Truth IS the light, the way, the healing and the embodiment of Love. And so it is. OM AH HUM.

  52. Dl says:

    I feel that this apology is only a piece of a greater consciousness which does not deem it unwarranted.  All steps are necessary in the wholeness of everything.  And this has purpose, but it is not solely what is necessary, but remains a valuable piece in the whole of our relationships here on this plain.  There is no giving up of anything in this… only what one who reads it needs to give up.  It does not diminish women to gain some sort of male approval… only in ones mind does it do this.  It is not handing over masculine abilities to men and for men only to have these qualities, as the whole being is equipped with all.  The Womens Movement is a place where we can re-kindle our love… the love that we are… the love that we have always been… and in relationship to the collective.  It too is merely a piece in the entire puzzle.  I appreciate your work stumblingmystic.   I honour and respect your individual process in this life, you are a great spiritual warrior.  And I thank you with great gratitude for sharing this inner process with us.  I also honour and respect you Chameli & Stella for having the courage to speak from this place that calls for great strength and absolute vulnerability and responsibility of our part as the feminine, the wounded aspect.  Thank you for the work that you are all doing… WITH GREAT LOVE… Dhaina Lynn

  53. Karen says:

    Beautiful, powerful statements of ownership.  Once we embrace that we are responsible for accepting our own femininity, we can truly move into the powerful, loving beings that we are.

  54. Loooov12 says:

    The sexes are not a issue here I feel it as to do more with how we can all treat one another
    As human towards just caring injustice is there also women between women men between men

  55. Monica says:

    So True!!! In my heart I have carried since being in my mother’s womb, her own anger and bitterness towards my dad. How amazing that a mother even transmits her toxic emotions into her pregnancy, just like her joyful feelings. Why have we not paid closer attention to the HONOR that Men so deserve, as they are the Head and women are the Heart and together Make a Home filled with Love, Understanding, Happiness, a little sacred empire to raise little children and co-create with Creator Divine.  As a Touch Therapist, I am so fortunate to bring this message now for 9 years to women and men through the Touch may they only feel Love’s True Light. LOVE is what will Heal our World, let it begin with me.

  56. Otterpupp says:

    not to mention genital mutilation aka routine infant circumcision which is today still being perpetrated in supposedly civilized countries, where female children are legally protected from such acts but male children are still strapped down and genitally brutalized without anesthetic.

  57. Otterpupp says:

    Radiantheart I really loved this comment, thanks! do you have more of your writing/teaching online?

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