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My heart ripped open and inside I found a tiger

I tell you the journey was intense.
I think I died.

I am still here.

Last spring I was told I had cancer. I am sure that the young eager doctor did his very best, but it turned out he was wrong.
I did not have cancer (thank you, thank you, thank you.)

Now when I look back I think the young doctor was Vajrayogini in disguise, shocking me across a threshold of no return. Colliding with her furacious love my heart ripped open and inside I found a tiger. Wild. Free. Dangerous.

Things that use to matter, don’t any more.
And there are things that matter a lot.

:: The honor of kissing Her feet. And doing it again. And again.

:: My place among true warrior angels in the timeless yogini circle.

:: The smell of my lovers neck.

:: The kiss of spanda within me, of the rhythm of being. Holy holy holy.

:: The aching human cycle of pain and pleasure, of hunger on ALL levels.

:: The intense rush of love pressing itself from earth to body and beyond, these days often with the force of a tsunami, other times vague like a dream slipping away at dawn.

:: Another breath with you Mother. Holy holy holy.

We are all living at the verge of that threshold. Even now.
You can fear it, you can ignore it, you can fight it, you can, as most of us do, forget it.
Or you can soften a bit, surrender a little. Turn around and face the truth.

You will loose everything. You will win nothing.

Only freedom.
And a tiger in your heart.

 

Join us for the online  21 Day Durga Sadhana Immersion, starting April 25th

Image by Bibbi Friman