As write this I am on my way into a full month of Durga Sadhana, first a weekend retreat here in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, and then next week we kick off the 21 day online Durga Sadhana Immersion.
I feel a subtle tremor in my soul, similar to what I imagine animals feel right before an earth quake.
Durga tends to crack open the stale surfaces, revealing the luminous inside of the inside. If we are lucky.
If we are willing to be broken.
In facing Her power, I have been forced to drop all my ideas about power. My ambitious attempts to “get it”, to pump myself up with self esteem, to be better than, to play smaller than, my clumsy attempts to copy the ones I thought have “got it”, my clever games, my spiritual correctness.
She kindly ignored it all and kept pushing me down on my knees, reminded me to soften my tight fists, insisting that I let Her take the wheel.
The path to Her power is a path of surrender, a surrender to your own Self, to your Big Self.
In surrender you find your power,
in bowing down you find your dignity.
In that moment of getting out of your own way,
you find your way.
The longing to show up, to contribute with the unique flavor of you,
is shared by all of life. Look at the flowers, the animals, look at children,
everybody wants to take part, with all we got.
So why make it so personal? Why do we make it about “being good enough”,
or the “right moment”, or “getting it”?
Here is a secret key, sister:
it’s not really about you.
From the inside of the inside you remember. Songs of outrageous freedom ~ of giving it all.
They come as whispers, they come as howls, or as a silence wrapping itself around you.
Small or big, right or wrong, unworthy or “the best”,
It. Does. Not. Matter.
This moment, this is it. This is life.
Get out of your own way and give it from that deep warmth of you.
See you on the other side.
Join us for the online 21 Day Durga Sadhana Immersion, starting April 25th