Can you leave the tempting hooks of drama dangling in thin air?

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Living a life in a woman’s body you will, in any given moment,
have feelings.
Sometimes light and easy,
other times more rough and fiery,
and yes, everything in between.
It is unavoidable,
and in itself it is unproblematic.

In any of these infinite amount of moments when feelings arise,
there are people that seem to be linked to the feeling you are experiencing.
There will be situations that seem to cause your feelings,
memories that seem to creep in and create your present experience,
thoughts and stories that seem to demand your engagement.

At any given moment you will have available to you
an infinite number of hooks that you can hang your feeling onto.
Reasons, causes, stories that fit your feeling like a hand fits into a glove.

What if you paused for a moment, right here,
to consider the possibility that the feeling is 100% your responsibility?
And that the hooking of your feeling into the web of stories, 
causes, people,
situations, memories, 
fantastic or horrendous visions of the future,
is 100 % your choice.

What if it was possible to simply leave the tempting hook dangling,
to let the entire bundle of glorious reasons
fall to the ground.
To feel your feeling, as a sensation in the body.
To give it space.
To breathe in,
and out.
In,
and out.

Standing here, willingly, in the space that opens up, 
in the vulnerability of the unknown,
intimate with all the feelings that are here floating in consciousness.

As if you, with all the tenderness in the universe,
scoop the feelings into the open space of your heart,
where they arise and dissolve out of the openness of who you truly are.
Free, always have been, always will be,
utterly free.

And what if you….when you in a moment will begin to interact with your day,
when you find yourself picking up a hook again,
that favorite story about a person that you know you can change,
that seemingly absolute necessity to defend against the
 unfair judgment a person projects onto you…

…what if you dare to face the price you pay each time you pick up
those stories you have gotten so used to.
That you in fact are willing to again and again 
trade in your freedom in your toxic marriage to blame.

What if it was 100% your choice to pick up the hooks again?

You may do it, the buffalo demon is stubborn,
but perhaps you will remember that this is not the only option,
and you can remind yourself of your choice:
Yes, I am picking up the hook, 
I have some more fascination here.

Or not.

 

(Chameli Ardagh)

Art by : Flora Aube