Guest blog by Anita Wiger
I’m sitting on my balcony viewing the ocean, reflecting on my weeks in Corfu.
A month long Yogini ashram with
My life feels like a movie, a good one.
Not a Hollywood feel good movie, more the independent black and white one.
Interesting and not what you expect.
A little dramatic, real, raw and beautiful life changes over the years.
I can hardly believe it.
This summer, this life.
All my different choices.
From my work as a hairdresser, cool chick in black, wife, being a mum, to assisting in women’s groups, Lifedancing teacher, guiding women, taking care of my mother, leading the Yogini assistant team, Stylist and Coach, selling and buying houses, a new building project in Portugal, to body work, and this summer
to SING IN A MICROPHONE AND RECORD!!!
Hello, give me a break!
So surreal and yet so totally natural.
I’m pinching myself, is this for real?
Yes, I’m really here in paradise ~ on Corfu ~ in my body.
Nothing less and nothing more, just a woman through me, Anita Wiger.
The feeling of gratitude and humbleness runs through me.
Tears running from my eyes,
and my heart is so willing to surrender to all this incredible beauty.
My first reaction is to burst out with sounds, but I let myself breathe into this moment.
I just breathe and feel it.
Like Chameli says, kiss it with your breath from the inside.
A tantric practice, playing with my life force.
It has been more than 15 years since I first met my dear friend and teacher,
Carina-Maria Caur. She showed me a way back to my body,
through the love of dance and movement.
Lifedancing, I just love the sound of this word, Lifedancing!
And some years later C-M gave a workshop with Chameli Ardagh.
I couldn’t believe how “at home” this made me feel.
A feminine way of embodying spirituality.
It was like I found a bit of my own life puzzle.
You know that feeling when you put on the perfect ring, bam, there it is!
I shall not say it has all being easy, not at all.
Oh shit, so many feelings coming up from the basement.
A lot of ” ugly children” being seen and held over the years.
And I still hear knockings on my door…I welcome them, they are all my “children”.
Just wanting to have some love and attention.
And they have.
They have my attention, my love and my patience.
For me this work has been crucial for my perception in the wide area of beauty.
It has been nearly 8 years ago since I woke up with half of my face paralyzed.
I had to do some deep soul searching.
How can I live my life like this?
What if this never goes away?
Can I still live in beauty?
After the first shock, I went through a lot of shame feelings.
Maybe it’s my own fault?
Did I ask for this?
And…I’m not healing quick enough.
Bahhhhh, many voices wanted to be heard.
Some thoughts were my own, and some came as friendly messengers from ” friends”.
I can say it was a tough time, but with the help from my spiritual practice
and my closest friends, I started to heal.
Not just the outside and my face, I started to heal my insides.
I found and did some really incredible practices (as I love to practice).
I asked the mirror every day, how can I serve the Goddess,
how can I bring out more beauty in myself and into the world?
How can I make myself more happy.
I did my best every single day, even when I didn’t feel Her.
This truly helped me.
And I started to feel more love and beauty for myself and others.
Maybe it’s okay to shine even if you are feeling a little “so and so”.
Can you feel beautiful anyway?
I sorted out everything that didn’t serve me and beauty anymore.
Bye bye old belief of how I could feel, Bammmm, gone from my wardrobe.
Welcome sustainable, well-fitting beautiful good quality clothes.
Welcome space and clean shelves.
Okay, one eye cannot be open and blinking, then “Hello” to the one that can!
I see you beautiful sister.
My life was seen by me, from me, with so much more kindness.
Much more relaxed than from the “model” of how beauty should be.
The brainwashed and kidnapped version of beauty and fashion.
I choose to dare to be beautiful…all of me!
This was a total life change for me.
My way back home!
And yes, summer 2015, back to my balcony in Greece, Corfu!
This 3 weeks serving in Paradise, with my Yogini sisters, my teachers, sharing my gifts,
coaching so many beautiful women, sharing my voice, giving my love, this crazy loving heart!
Ahhhhh, I just want to cry out my gratitude to the world.
And I do, I cry outloud!
I refuse to hold back my love!
I refuse to make myself and others anything but absofuckinglutly beautiful!!!
Forever on my knees in deep gratitude for this life.
It was always easy for me to see the beauty in everything and everyone. I love beautiful clothes in creative combinations, and love cool hairstyles. I have worked as a hairdresser for over 30 years, and to inspire and bring out the beauty in others is natural and joyful to me. But seven years ago, my life totally changed. One morning I woke up with half of my face paralyzed. I was shocked and terrified when I saw myself in the mirror. With drooping eyelid and jaw, I did not feel beautiful at all. In order to not completely break down, I decided to focus on what made me feel happy. One way was through my clothes…
Read more about me and my work at: www.vagavaravacker.se
Images: Bibbie Friman