Many of us experience difficulties with setting clear boundaries. This can be towards the masculine but it can also be with, friends, female coworkers or your mother.
Some have had experiences of having their boundaries stepped over in very serious ways, but most often times it is quite subtle when our boundaries are stepped over and it is challenging to actually be aware of what is taking place.
We may experience it as just a feeling of being drained energetically, we are feeling generally bad and “icky” . We often times become aware of these symptoms afterwords, much later than the situation where our boundaries were stepped over.
In the actual situation we just feel numb, it can even feel as we are not longer present in the body. Many women expresses that it feel like “leaving the body”.
The body always gives very clear signals to us, and it takes gentle practice and a dose of patience for us to learn to listen.
An example of this is that if you are in a situation were someone is sitting to close to you, you will get a knot in your belly. You will have a feeling that something is not right here, but because of our training in trusting our intellectual evaluation more then these very innocent direct signals from the body, we begin to discuss and evaluate our instinctual response and it can go like this:
“Oh, he probably doesn’t have any other place to sit”. Or “he is probably not aware of touching my thigh because he is reading his book”. Or “If i say something right now he will be so hurt, he is probably not used to sitting this close to women, pore guy”. Or even “I must be over-reactive, if I say something it will just create a drama over nothing.” All these are ways that we disassociate from the body. Then a few hours later, we will notice that we just feel somehow crushed in our power center, we feel drained.
This month in our Face Book group ” I Love My Body” we are focusing on bringing love and awareness to our bodies the temple. When we shift our habits to be more present in the body on a general basis, we will have a greater capacity to pick up on the signals of our body much earlier and perhaps eventually we will be able to set the boundaries right when our bodies signals to us that “this is to close” or “this is enough.” The more we learn to listen to the body as a wise teacher, which it truly is, the greater capacity we have to also act on these signals.
Today’s Practice: When ever you are faced with a choice today, listen to the body. What does she tell you? In the beginning it maybe be confusing because your mind my not grasp her communication, but deeper then the mind, you will know what she is telling you.