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Please, No More Unsexy Facts About Sex

Guest Blog by Lone Morch

The other day, a reporter from a national women’s magazine contacted me wanting to get a few unsexy facts about sex.

Who cares?

I don’t think I can bear another article that tells us that sex: increases your heart rate, decreases colesterol, builds muscles, burns calories, relaxes you, releases important chemicals and gives you a nice healthy blush. Is sex another healthy thing on your to do list?

Or how about 10 Ways to Be Desirable?
Cosmopolitan headlines like “10 sexy ways to get him into bed” or “10 sexy ways to keep him there” just make me sad. Ten tricks to get something. How many times do women need to be reminded that the sex is about manipulating and the only one worth satisfying is him? How many times do women need to hear that ultimately, they are inadequate?

I’m fatigued with a culture that has cajoled and ridiculed us into believing things like:

Regular sex is a sign that I’m a healthy, successful person.
Sexual satisfaction is a matter of mastery of skills.
Something’s wrong with me if I can’t orgasm, ejaculate, remain hard for hours.
Only sexy, beautiful people have sexy, beautiful sex.

And in California, add to the list: Not into polyamory, threesomes, sex clubs, fetiches, one taste om-ing, tantric orgasm in a room full of people watching and various kinky explorations? Good night, and Good Luck!  You haven’t lived.

Sex has become so, uhm… functional, scientific, and utterly unsexy.

Please world, can we up-level our conversations a bit?

The Erotic Life
In a world where everything is sexualized instead of humanized, I worry that we’ve lost touch with the sweet eroticism in life. To me, being human, life itself is erotic. It’s a being alive to the magical, pulsating, ecstatic body and universe we live and experience through. It’s a way of being in the world in a sensory and tactile way, leading and relating to others with your energy awareness and senses.

The inclination of (our) nature is to (pro)create. The bees and blooms kind of thing is literally taking place all around you, all the time. It’s taking place within, continuously creating and destroying our bodies and being. Sexual communion with another human being is simply an expression of this entirely creative process. You attract, build up heat, enter one another, explode, and die. A life and death dance. The inclination to co-create is so strong and it is not for nothing that condoms were invented. Sex is merely one facet of life’s eroticism.

Perfunctory or performance oriented sex with release as goal, no longer seems so interesting to me.
I know my sexuality is the central life force within me. It fuels everything from how I show up in the world, to my creativity, to play, love making and communing with the divine.

Today, I savor the richness of all experience, using my senses, using my breath, using my imagination and movement to fan the flames. Not necessarily to make love, alone or with someone else. But to fan my creative fire, to light up my body, to heighten the energetic frequency and feel utterly present in my body and being.

I like to feel my heart beat pulse through my veins.

I like to feel my skin erect with desire.

I like to feel the sun kiss my face and the wind caress my skin.

I am constantly engaged in foreplay with life, and on good days, this results in joyful, flirtatious engagement with the world around me. Meet me there.

So don’t talk to me about health benefits of sex and how to score the guy. Talk to me about being fully alive and harnessing the amazing energies within to create beautiful, transformative art, love, partnerships and a better world.

Talk to me about sex that breathes erotic play, seduces me to fall off the edge of control, and dissolves, for a moment, life and death. Talk to me about the mystery of sex.

In its highest sense, our sexuality is a gateway to spirit, to the place where humanity meets divinity, and as such it is sacred. It offers us a readily available opportunity to experience the ecstatic union we all long for.  If… that is… we dare surrender so deeply to the erotic dance, with ourselves, with each other.

I want to make love to life. What about you?

About Lone Morch: Writer, artist & mentor, I like to think of myself as a rebel priestess, here to inspire and catalyze awakenings to our inherently divine, sensual, creative essence and power. I am the author of an upcoming book “From Kailas to Kali” and founder of Lolo’s Boudoir.  I believe in fierce love, freedom, faith and telling the truth. I am interested in the new feminine paradigm and what it takes to walk the path of a divine human.